Brooklyn Bridge

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 A story about a homeless man contemplating suicide on brooklyn bridge 

Brooklyn bridge  An old bridge 

 Steel and stone  There comin home 

 Across the sea they flea  

From New York City   

Where skyscrapers  Scrape the land  in the heartland 

 Brooklyn bridge  as night falls  

on a winters night  

lights and sights  come into view   

and commuters like computers  cross the bridge  

they flea across the sea  they cant see    

New York New York  No place for the old  Its old and cold   So be told   

Cold freezing water Rushes on past  

Under the bridge   

And near the ridge   

A homeless man looks on 

He moves on  

His lifes nearly gone 

 A light shines on   His tattered worn figure 

People start to snigger  

As he Hugs on his blanket  

He contemplates life  Trouble and strife   

Will he end his life  And jump in the sea  

Then theyl see 

 So yeah Brooklyn bridge  

An old bridge  

Steel and stone  There comin home 

 Across the sea they flea  

From New York City  

So Come and see   

The land of the free 

https://youtu.be/U1x1pcmrFEY

 please write a review and critique on my painting and story of brooklyn bridge New York by night. 

Thank you for sharing your powerful painting and accompanying poem. Here's a critique and review of both the visual and written elements, along with how they work together to tell the story of the Brooklyn Bridge and the emotional weight of a homeless man’s struggle.

Your painting captures the majesty and melancholy of New York City by night with striking effect. Here are some key elements:

• Color Palette & Atmosphere: The contrast between the fiery reds and oranges of the sunset/smog and the deep blues of night evokes both warmth and isolation—fitting for the emotional theme. The glow of the city lights dancing on the water adds energy and depth.
   
• Reflections: The shimmering reflections in the water beneath the bridge give the piece a dreamlike, almost ghostly quality—mirroring the uncertainty and pain of the poem's subject.
   
• Brushwork: The expressive, almost impressionistic strokes suggest movement and emotion. It feels alive, which suits the chaotic, indifferent nature of the city.
   
• Structure: The bridge, a literal and symbolic element in your story, is painted with strength and prominence. Its firm, illuminated form anchors the chaos around it—perhaps mirroring the heavy weight of the man’s thoughts and his place in a world that seems to move past him.
   

• Figures: If the homeless man is meant to be present in the image, he’s either too subtle to see or absent. Including him visibly (even small and silhouetted) could strengthen the link between poem and painting.
   
• Narrative Depth: Visually echoing the poem’s emotional turmoil—perhaps with darker shadows near the man’s place on the bridge or cooler hues to contrast the city’s glare—could enhance the sense of internal conflict.
   

Your poem blends lyrical storytelling with raw social commentary. It reads like spoken word or beat poetry, with strong rhythm and internal rhyme that gives it a musical pulse.

• Theme & Emotion: The narrative of a homeless man contemplating suicide on one of the most iconic bridges in the world is heartbreakingly powerful. You juxtapose the grandeur of the city with the invisibility of suffering—creating stark emotional tension.
   
• Imagery: Phrases like “Cold freezing water / Rushes on past / Under the bridge / And near the ridge” create vivid, cinematic moments. The repeated motif of “steel and stone” adds a tactile texture and grounding strength.
   
• Repetition & Structure: The chorus-like return to “Steel and stone / They’re coming home” works well—suggesting memory, loss, and longing. It also frames the piece with a haunting echo.
   

• Polish the Flow: Some parts lose rhythm due to grammar or syntax:
   
  • “They flea across the sea they cant see” → consider spelling correction (flee) and punctuation for clarity and pacing.
     
  • “Then theyl see” → they’ll.
     
• Develop Symbolism: The idea that “commuters like computers” cross the bridge is rich—perhaps build more around how they’re blind to the man’s suffering, or how the city’s progress leaves others behind.
   
• End with Impact: The ending is good, but could be more emotionally resonant if it resolved the man’s fate, or left us with a more ambiguous haunting image—does he jump? Does he cling to hope?
   

Together, your painting and poem create a compelling multimedia experience. The visual grandeur contrasts with the human fragility expressed in the poem, allowing viewers to feel both awe and sorrow. It’s a poignant reminder of those unseen within the shadows of urban marvels.

This work is honest, emotional, and evocative. It raises important questions about visibility, value, and survival in a world built on steel and dreams. With a few refinements, it has the potential to deeply move viewers and readers alike.

A3 Limited Edition Print £50 Contact me

 A story about New York 

Times Square New York   

crossroads of the world 

A shopping mecca  With bright Lights and broadway shows  

 New York New York  Is the place to be  Come and see   

with Skyscrapers  scraping the land 

from statue of liberty  

To the empire state building  

 New York no place for the old  its old And its cold 

Yes old new York  its got some history 

10 thousand BC  people entered the land  

American Indians  Settled on the land  

George Washington  bill of rights there was fights 

 Railways And gangs of new York  In 1863

 Low wages,  conscription  and freed slaves Erupts into fights    

New York City  building boom in the twenties  

great depression  they learned a lesson 

world war 2  industries back   

Times square place of Frank Sinatra 

I did it my way  

new York new York  Statue of Liberty,  Empire State Building, 

 Brooklyn Bridge,  Central Park,  twin towers, 9 11   

A melting pot of music and arts  

a hustling bustling place  in yer face  

underground systems  across the city

 steam rising from the road   

large streets  taxis and cars 

cross em at your own peril  

friends on the box 

 a hustling street  below your feet  what a treat  

yeah Times Square New York   

crossroads of the world 

A shopping mecca  

bright Lights and broadway shows 

 New York New York  Is the place to be  

Come and see   

https://youtu.be/2Jdh3NtkEkk

 please write a review and critique of my painting and story of Times Square New York.  

Your painting and accompanying poem create a vibrant, bold, and raw tribute to Times Square and New York City as a whole. Let's look at each aspect in detail:

Style and Technique:

• Your painting bursts with expressionistic energy. The use of thick, dynamic brushstrokes and bold color choices echoes the chaos and vibrancy of Times Square. There's a palpable rhythm to the work—like the heartbeat of the city itself.
   
• The bright, neon signs with their rough, almost scribbled lettering feel alive and authentic, not pristine or over-polished—which is honest to the real experience of NYC.
   
• The wet street reflections and taxis capture the constant motion and the sense that New York is a place that never sleeps. The paint is applied thickly in places, suggesting noise, movement, and emotion.
   
• The perspective is slightly exaggerated and off-kilter, in a way that enhances the sense of overwhelming scale and sensory overload, which is perfect for portraying Times Square.
   

Highlights:

• The signs, from “Cats” to Coca-Cola, add nostalgic, cultural touchpoints that ground the scene in recognizable history.
   
• You capture a rainy-night gloss on the pavement, giving depth and realism beneath the impressionistic style.
   

Suggestions for Refinement:

• While the expressive lettering adds character, consider balancing clarity with chaos—for example, perhaps sharpening one or two signs as focal points to contrast the surrounding noise.
   
• Adding more facial or human detail might enhance the storytelling element—people are part of what gives New York its edge.
   

Strengths:

• Your poem functions like a spoken-word beat poem, pulsing with rhythm and street-level grit.
   
• You transition smoothly between New York's historical timeline (from American Indians and George Washington to 9/11) and its modern pop culture.
   
• The lines “no place for the old / it's old and it's cold” show a raw honesty, while “a hustling bustling place / in yer face” nails the tone of the city.
   
• There’s a real New York attitude in the voice—a mixture of admiration, chaos, resilience, and celebration.
   

Suggestions for Enhancement:

• Structurally, the poem might benefit from breaking into stanzas—organizing by theme (e.g. history, culture, landmarks, present-day vibe). This would help the reader/listener breathe and absorb the story.
   
• Consider varying the rhythm slightly in places to avoid repetition and keep the listener surprised.
   
• You could elevate emotional resonance by lingering more on moments of contrast—for instance, more on the Twin Towers/9-11 versus the hustle of Times Square.
   

Your painting and poem work powerfully as a pair. The visual chaos and brilliance of the painting mirror the poem’s energy, tone, and pacing. Together, they form a gritty, electric, and heartfelt tribute to the city that never sleeps.

If this is intended for exhibition or public sharing, you’ve captured what makes New York both terrifying and magnetic—a place of dreams, scars, and endless motion.

 Original Painting available  or A3 Limited Edition Print £50 Contact me

A story about a New York Pimp 

The New York Pimp  

Hes a Money maker a shaker maker  

Shakes it up  On wall street  And times square 

Stop and stare  

Poppin the drugs  With thugs  On a new york street   

Lives it up with the rich  

And his bitch  Goes down  At the drop of a crown   

Yeah hes a pimp  

Pimpin em out  to the highest bidder 

hes a grinner  and a sinner  

yeah He gives em a clout  In the back of his car  

 Hes got a scar of life  

Destroys your life  Trouble and strife  

 So if you meet him  In a club  

With his crew all around  

Take a wide berth  

And come down to earth  

Don’t take them drugs  Hes sellin  Im yelling   

The New York Pimp  

Hes a Money maker a shaker maker  

Shakes it up  On wall street  And times square 

Stop and stare  

 Poppin the drugs  With thugs  

On a new york street   

So Keep em off the streets 

https://youtu.be/_uq5dhWPGF4

 please write a review and citique on my painting and story of New York Times Square Crossing. 

Your painting, New York Times Square Crossing, is a bold and chaotic expression of urban life. It captures the energy of Times Square with an electrifying intensity—bright lights, commercial clutter, and restless movement dominate the scene. Here's a breakdown of its artistic strengths and areas for refinement:

Strengths:

• Expressive Use of 
• Color: The vivid palette, especially the electric yellows, reds, and blues, conjures a sense of sensory overload—perfect for portraying the visual assault of Times Square.
   
• Energetic Brushwork: The gestural lines and impasto strokes feel spontaneous, channeling the pulse and grit of the city. The textural quality of the paint gives the scene life and dimension.
   
• Urban Density: You’ve successfully layered signs, lights, vehicles, and buildings to create a visual overload that mirrors the sensory overwhelm of the real place. It feels crowded but purposeful.
   
• Characterful Figures: The small distorted figures crossing the road evoke the sense of anonymity and motion, as if everyone is hustling, surviving, and barely noticing each other—an effective depiction of urban alienation.
   

Suggestions for Refinement:

• Focus and Focal Point: The composition could benefit from a clearer focal point—perhaps by emphasizing the central taxi or a specific character. This would anchor the viewer amidst the chaos.
   
• Typography/Signage: While the blurred, impressionistic lettering fits the chaotic aesthetic, refining one or two iconic signs (like “Broadway” or “Times”) might strengthen the connection to real-world Times Square.
   
• Sky Detail: The sky is a calm counterpoint, which is a good choice, but adding slight tonal variation or subtle skyline elements could create more atmospheric depth.
   

This poem is gritty, streetwise, and unapologetically raw—mirroring the attitude and energy of your painting. It reads like a gritty urban anthem or a cautionary street tale.

Strengths:

• Rhythmic and Repetitive: The hook (“He’s a money maker / a shaker maker”) provides a rhythmic, chant-like refrain that adds musicality and enhances the storytelling style—like a street rap or spoken word.
   
• Tone and Grit: You’ve captured the harsh underbelly of urban life—drugs, crime, survival, and exploitation—with unfiltered honesty. The world you paint with words feels just as chaotic and morally ambiguous as the scene in your painting.
   
• Visual Language: Lines like “he’s a grinner and a sinner” and “scar of life / trouble and strife” are visceral and punchy—these compact rhymes give the character a dangerous charisma.
   

Suggestions for Development:

• Balance Between Style and Message: While the rawness gives it power, a few moments of introspection or subtlety might give the poem greater emotional weight. What’s the cost of the pimp's lifestyle? Is there regret, emptiness, or a turning point?
   
• Character Complexity: Right now, the Pimp is a larger-than-life symbol, but consider fleshing him out with a more personal layer—his past, a specific downfall, or a crack in the mask.
   
• Consistency: The switch between moral warning (“Don’t take them drugs he’s sellin’ I’m yellin’”) and gritty glorification could be balanced better if the narrator’s position were clearer. Is it admiration, fear, regret, or condemnation?
   

Together, your painting and poem deliver a dynamic and uncompromising vision of New York’s urban energy and its moral complexity. Times Square becomes more than a location—it’s a stage for vice, survival, flashiness, and decay. The “Pimp” represents the darker allure of power, money, and influence in a world where everyone’s hustling.

There’s a pop-art-meets-expressionism sensibility here, like a mash-up of Jean-Michel Basquiat, Lucien Freud, and a graffiti poet—emotional, urban, raw, and not afraid to offend or shout.

You’ve crafted a vivid, chaotic, and street-hardened commentary on modern city life. There’s real power in your imagery—both visual and verbal. With a bit more narrative depth or character exploration, this could grow into a series that digs even deeper into the heart of the city and its lost souls.

 Original Painting available  or A3 Limited Edition Print £50 Contact me

A story about a New York Taxi Driver 

New York Taxi Driver 

Drivin down the street  In the summer heat  

In a new York street  

Yeah he knows  The place to go 

 Hes on the go   

So I Hail a cab  And flag it down 

 He gives a frown  

 Hey  How u doin  And where ya goin  

Take me to a place  That’s ace  

 So I sit in the back  of a yellow cab 

 With fags on the seat  Of a new York street 

  Its a treat  Life at full beat   

Hes drivin like a nutter  

stutter  

As we hit the gutter 

In times square  People stop and stare   

That’l be ten dollar   

I Hand it over    

Cheers my mate 

 As I stand  At the crossroads of the world   

Hes brought me to a place that’s ace   

So yeah  New York Taxi Driver 

Drivin down the street  In the summer heat  

In a new York street  

Yeah he knows  The place to go  

Hes on the go   

Hes part of the show  

https://youtu.be/LDrAhJT6TDM

 please write a review and critique on my painting and story of New York Taxi . 

Your painting of Times Square, New York, is a bold, textured explosion of color and energy — perfectly echoing the chaos and charisma of the city that never sleeps. The thick impasto style, expressive brushstrokes, and vibrant palette lend the work an urgency and vibrancy that captures not just the visual noise of the place, but the emotional noise too.

Highlights:

• Color & Light: The use of saturated yellows, reds, and electric blues beautifully captures the luminous intensity of Times Square at night. The taxis are especially effective as bright focal points.
   
• Motion & Atmosphere: There’s a compelling sense of motion — the swirling lights, the blur of figures, the frantic taxis — that creates a visceral, immersive energy. The scene feels alive.
   
• Urban Grit: Details like the distorted signage and gritty, graffiti-esque text (e.g., “MAMA MIA,” “NEW YORK”) contribute to a raw, almost punk sensibility that feels true to the street-level view of a cabbie’s world.
   

Suggestions:

• Perspective & Depth: While the intentional distortion adds character, enhancing the perspective slightly (e.g., more clarity in the road’s vanishing point) could create more spatial balance.
   
• Contrast Management: Some areas are quite busy, particularly around the signage. Slight tonal variation between foreground and background could help direct the viewer’s eye more clearly.
   
• Characters: Introducing a visible human figure — perhaps a stylized silhouette of the driver or a passenger — could add a stronger narrative anchor.
   

Your poem reads like a breathless, spontaneous freestyle — mirroring the unpredictable, fast-paced rhythm of a cab ride through Manhattan. It has an endearing, cheeky charm that echoes both British humor and New York bravado.

Strengths:

• Voice: The narrator’s voice is grounded, relatable, and full of wit. The use of everyday slang (“fags,” “cheers my mate”) adds a down-to-earth flavor.
   
• Rhythm & Flow: There’s a musicality to it — short lines, internal rhymes (“goin” / “knowin”), and repetition — that give it a beat poet energy, almost like a spoken-word performance.
   
• Imagery & Storytelling: It captures a full journey — heat, chaos, encounter, humor, and wonder — all in a single cab ride. The final reflection (“He’s part of the show”) is poignant.
   

Suggestions:

• Editing for Tightness: Some lines could benefit from tightening or polishing — for instance:
   
  • “With fags on the seat / Of a new York street” – the image is vivid but slightly unclear in context. You might consider refining this to enhance clarity or metaphor.
     
• Capitalization & Line Breaks: For readability and impact, consider a more consistent approach to capitalization and punctuation. It can still feel raw and immediate but with a little more structure.
   

Together, the painting and poem create a beautiful synergy — a gritty, electric love letter to the raw, fast, sometimes absurd beauty of New York. It’s about moments of connection in a city full of noise. The cabbie becomes both driver and guide, a transient companion in a shared experience that ends with a nod and a “cheers, mate.”

Your story — visual and poetic — captures urban chaos with heart, and that’s no small feat.