Andrew Alan Matthews Life story

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​ A small selection of stories, events and happenings of my life to date,

some might say interesting, shocking or boring, but whatever you think I have lived it the best way I can, with love, laughter, some tears & fears, but mostly looking on the bright side of life.

I Have been interested and involved in Art all my life, 

At the age of 11 my first painting was an oil pastel painting of a falcon that I copied from players cigarette cards. I then moved onto still life oil pastel paintings.

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I left school and college and was employed as a Textile Design Separation Artist for 10 years producing all manner of design separations for the leading textile companies in the UK. 

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After leaving this career I undertake a B.A.(Hon's)Textile Design Degree at Manchester Metropolitan University where I graduated in 1999.

After leaving University I was able to undertake commissioned artwork for many people on a freelance basis and produced numerous paintings and designs.

When My daughter Emily was born I began to produce children's books of which I have since published 

these books are;

Ted & Roly's ABC

the wizard the witch the flea and me

Harry the Dinosaur

Laura's special birthday surprise.

My first bike was a three-wheeler painted black with a crash helmet in black with a skull and crossbows on the front, I thought this was great.

My first School was Rackhouse Junior school in Northern Moor, we did not stay in Northern Moor for long and we moved to 222 Princess Road Moss Side Manchester.

 This house was a run down and dilapidated property, it had cracks from the kitchen all the way up to my bedroom where I would often shout to my mum to put the breakfast on. The back kitchen door was old, wooden and rotten which had a 2 inch gap under the door where the cold draught went right through the house. It was always freezing even in the summertime. The mice got through this door and when we were huddled around the fire watching the black and white TV we saw mice running from the back of the gas fire to the kitchen and running back again with a piece of cheese from the trap that didn’t work. 

Mice were all over the house and one night my sister screamed in the middle of the night as a mouse was sitting on her bed, my mum started chasing and bashing it all over the room with a broom and my dad shouted “stop tickling it to death”. I was laughing my head off at this.

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My dog Nippy was a great ratting dog and it would often run into the kitchen to catch mice. One night I saw Nippy jump into the air and catch a mouse as it was jumping from the kitchen worktop to the washing machine and crunched its head to kill it.

222 Princess Road where we lived was a spooky old terraced house with lots of creaks and shadows. I used to have a recurring night mare in the back room where I slept, I would wake up and turn to my left to see an old woman in a rocking chair with a big hooked nose, I had this dream every night and kept running into my mum and dads bedroom every night scared stiff.

My mum allowed me to sleep in my sister’s room and she slept in mine. I did not have that dream again but my sister began to have exactly the same dream. We came to learn that the house was formerly relatives of my Great Uncle George and one of our relatives had died in the house. 

There was always belongings going missing and would turn up in the strangest of places. One year a workman was fixing the bathroom and a gas bottle exploded severely burning him and the fire brigade turned up to put the fire out, I remember the toilet had a pull chain and this had melted into a fish shape from the fire. we believed there was a ghost that was responsible for all these happenings in the house and there was always a feeling of unease when walking upstairs.

The bath was old, victorian and made of steel and cemented into the wall. every bath night we had to make bubbles with a steel shaker that you put left over soap in. 

My first recollection in Moss side was going to a School on Princess Road, I did not like it there and was being bullied so my mum and Dad moved me to Claremont Road Junior School. I met Mark Egerton at this School and met 

Ricardo Cowie there as well, 

I first met Ricky when he gave me a bit of cheek and was bragging about what he had, Ricky said I punched him in the face for bragging. He says that taught him a valuable lesson in life of not to brag and says he respected me for.  

I had lots of fun at Claremont Junior School getting up to lots of mischief with two friends, Alver lindo and Geoffrey finlayson who were Black and cocks of the school. I remember Lifting up girls skirts and getting up to mischief. 

We used to collect football cards that had bubble gum inside and we would flick them up against the school playground wall to win money and cards. My favorite football player was Colin Bell and we always played football on the streets. 

I was in trouble a few times at School, one time was when I looked after the school terrapins, I put them in the Pottery Kiln and put the food in the teacher’s desk. I nearly got the cane for that. 

My dad said that he had to come into my school on one occassion because I had pushed three kids down the stairs putting one in hospital, I do not remember doing that but my dad stuck up for me and said that if three lads were pushed down the stairs they must have been trying to gang up on me and if so why weren’t they questioned. 

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There was a school trip I went on with Mark and we played football in the dark, when Mr Bernstein the head teacher saw us play and picked us for the football team. I remember waiting for the team coach only to find out I was not picked, But Mark was. I was gutted. 

There was also a Sunday school I used to go to with my sister on Claremont Road and it was very darkly lit and spooky, I used to play with lots of toys and table football. Geoffrey Finlayson also took me to church in Wythenshawe and we watched a weird budget film where all the actors were black. I was the only white face in the congregation. 

The queens silver jubilee was a big event at this time and I watched her waving from her car on Princess Road as the crowds gathered Waving flags. There were street parties outside with everybody’s tables all lined up with decorations, balloons and union jack banners hanging across the street and everyone having a great time, it was a great party atmosphere. 

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One bonfire night at the back of our house there was a derelict piece of land, all the people that lived in the street had turned out to watch the fire. The street was glowing orange and the heat was intense. We put jacket potatoes in the fire and we all shared treacle toffee and played dunking the apple in the street. It was a great night with fireworks going off and people laughing and joking. 

I picked up a iron bar from the fire three days after bonfire night and it burnt my hand badly. a kind lady put butter on my hand and bandaged me, there were lots of nice people in Moss Side also some bad as well.

We went trick or treating and knocked on doors every year, I came to this one house and said trick or treat, the man said hold on and he came back with a bucket full of water and threw it on me and shouted "there’s your trick", Laughing his head off. I was soaked to the skin and freezing cold.

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At Christmas we went carol singing and I again knocked on a door in Caythorpe Street, A Big Black man answered and said "hold on man", he came out from his house with two large kitchen knifes and ran down the street after me shouting “come here I want something for Christmas dinner”, I legged it down an alleyway and escaped. frightened out of my wits. 

The winters were always freezing and full of snow as deep as your knees, one year we chucked water onto the pathway outside Marks House on Claremont Road and it was like a skating rink, we would slide along for hours.

Alexandra Parks pond used to be full of fish. I used to go fishing with a net and there were always frogs and tadpoles and stickle backs in the pond. I collected tadpoles and toads in a jar and brought them back home. We had frogs jumping all over the yard one year. 

There was also a swamp near greenheys police station and me and a friend went looking for newts and frogs in the swamp and came out stinking to high heaven having failed to get any newts but got a load of frog spawn that we brought back home, mum was not too pleased. 

I wanted to make a den out of our air raid shelter one year and it was full of rubbish, so I decided to set it on fire. The fire brigade had to attend and I was sent to my room and was grounded for a week, my dad was fuming and nearly gave me the belt for that. The next door neighbour had petrol and inflammables in there air raid shelter and it nearly damaged some of there goods. 

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Ricky and I also went searching around the back alley ways collecting old push bikes that were left in the alleys and old derelict houses. we collected so many that they filled up my dads air raid shelter and Ricky’s air raid shelter. We began to make bikes from these parts and made around thirty bikes which we then sold in Nev's second hand shop which was located on the corner of Claremont Road and Cowesby Street. we made a lot of money. 

Our last bike we made did not have enough parts, it was missing an inner tube for the front wheel, so we filled it with newspaper in a split in the tyre and painted the tyre black to disguise it, the peddles spindle was loose and the front handle bars did not fit well. We advertised it outside Nev's shop and a Chinese man took a test drive on it, he got on it peddled half way down the road, the spindle gave way, the handle bar began to swivel and he hit a ditch in the Road and the front wheel split in half sending him sprawling on the floor and grazing his face, he came chasing after us, never to catch or see us again. 

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We set up a puncture repair service. And Peter Egerton gave us his bike to repair, we fixed the puncture at 5p a patch, it was a measly amount to pay for just one puncture so we made a few more in the tyre, it ended up costing him a few quid. Peter also saw that we had a new set of wheels for his BMX and he wanted to buy them so we said we will fit them for a fiver. we took his bike back to Rickys yard and looked at his old wheels, they were perfectly good wheels so we cleaned all the rust off them and made them shiny and new using duraglit. we took the bike back an hour later and he was chuffed to bits and handed his fiver to us, he was non the wiser. 

There was also a man called Keith. we called him keith the thief because he was the only one who conned us. we fixed his gears by taking them apart and cleaning them we charged him a fiver for this but he never paid us. 

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On one bonfire night my friends and I was doing penny for the guy outside the Claremont pub, a drunk came out of the pub and we said “penny for the guy”, he gave us a penny and robbed the guy. We then decided to put Peter in the box with a bag on his head, one drunk came out of the pub and booted him in the face. We then persuaded Peter to get back in the box and somebody threw a banger at him and it blew up in his lap, we all laughed our socks off at this, Peter was not amused.

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One time Ricky and I was at the back of the Claremont pub and were just about to chuck water through the window on the gents standing at the urinal when Ricky’s dad caught us through the window and said we were going to be in trouble. Rickys Dad, Tony was a kind upstanding man.

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Every other Saturday we used to do "mind your car mister" for the fans going to the match and we all had a Street that was our patch. we used to fight for it every week, my patch was Cowsby Street and nobody would take it off me. One day this Asian lad came up to me and spat in my face for no reason and I snapped, I started to fight him and was beating him when Ricky pulled me away quickly and the Asian lad ran off. I looked down at my right hand which was bleeding from a cut, Ricky said he pulled a knife on me. 

We all used to make our money by minding cars and it was a good source of income for us even at that young age, I was able to buy sweets,fireworks, jubleys and also school dinner tickets from the kids at school, 

I was also able to save some money for holidays and toys.

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We would mind the cars up until half time when Manchester City used to open the gates and all the local kids used to get into the ground for free and watch the second half of the game, we used to go in the main stand and the kippax end and all down the corridors getting up to mischief. I remember watching Colin Bell and Dennis tueart who were my favorite players. We stood standing in the kippax end, coins and anything people could get there hands on were being thrown about. It cost £1.50 to get into the kippax stand through turnstiles that you had to squeeze through. 

After the match there was always lots of people and it often got heated with police on horse back forcing the crowds down the road.

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There was a Hair dressers on Claremont Road called Arties and a lot of the City Footballers used to go there to get there hair cut, we saw a few football players there whilst we were out playing on the street.

Nev's second hand shop was a front for drugs and we used to see him chopping up some white stuff on glass in the back of the shop (I didn’t know what it was at the time) he used to give a few of the kids little parcels to deliver to houses, 

I got sections of scalextric tracks from his shop I bought most of the scalextric set from my mind your car money. and paper round money.

We used to play football on the derelict land opposite Claremont Junior School and Man City ground. we used to have competitions against the Browns gang and our gang and it was always competitive. we used to play five a side on a full size pitch and played for three to four hours at a time, I was pretty fit back in them days and seemed to run on very little food and fresh air. 

There was also Mr Flood’s toyshop on Claremont Road it was a really old shop full of ancient toys and new. We used to buy toy aircraft kits and plastic toy soldiers, I used to spend hours painting them. The shop was very smelly as he had cats and there was a parrot on a perch in the shop that used to chatter away. He kept pigeons in his back yard as well. 

Mr Flood was a kind and small gentle man and his wife was to us very ancient looking. He used to give Ricky treats as he lived next door to him on 162 Claremont Road. Ricky and I went on holiday with Mr Flood one year, or at least that’s what we thought it was. He got us up their on false pretence's, he had us cutting the grass, cleaning the caravan up which was in a dilapidated state, full of moths. At night I was bitten on my ear and Ricky on his nose and we jumped out of the caravan window to get away from them. 

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In the summer there used to be a band that practiced at the back of Nev's shop, they played bob Marley songs and reggae until late into the night, we used to dance on the street and there was a great atmosphere as we danced and played football on the street corner. We used to buy jubleys, which were triangular ice blocks and used to share them around to each other, god help you if you were the last in the queue!!!. We bought fireworks, screamers and bangers and had great fun setting them off, 

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There was a hair dressers on Claremont Road opposite the Beehive pub owned by an Irish man called paddy, he used to cut your hair drunk as a skunk whilst smoking a fag and drinking whisky between each cut. You usually came out with a bit of a dodgy hair cut. I did not have any haircuts in those days as my mum and dad could not afford it and she cut my hair very badly.

There was also a afro Caribbean hair dressers on Claremont Road and in the back was loads of arcade machines and a pool table, we spent many an hour playing pool and playing Galaxians and phoenix, we worked out that if you put a electric gas fire lighter into the slot then credits would appear on the screen and we would play quite a few games for nothing, until the owners clicked on with what we were doing.

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My Mum used to take me to Moss Side Shopping Centre all the time and I always wanted toys but she couldn't afford them, I remember pestering her all the time and mum getting annoyed, sometimes giving in to my demands, but mostly with no joy.

My love of Art began when I was about 6 or 7 years old, my Mum and Dad took me to Salford Museum and Artgallery, My Dad was a Bus Driver and my mum was a cleaner. I remember standing in front of a Huge painting, it was of a skeleton figure hooded and pointing a finger, surrounded by wolves in a snow scene. I stood there in awe with the painting. Imagine me as a young boy standing there looking at the painting mesmerised. The painting is still hanging on the wall there in Salford Museum and Artgallery. And it is called Famine. At the time L.S Lowry paintings were on display as well and I was in awe with the whole museum and art on display. This is where my love of art began 

I  used to draw pictures in Claremont Road Junior School school of all the super heroes from the marvel comics and was often told off for drawing them by the teacher, my favourite super hero was spider man, I used to draw them all the time. My dad saw my interest in Art and bought me some oil pastels and really good quality paper to produce pictures. 

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My first Oil picture was of a falcon that I copied from players cards that were given to me by Mr Webb our next door neighbour. I produced a lot of pictures and spent a long time on them at night after playing out with my friends. I produced an oil picture of a bunch of flowers for my Gran and dad got it framed for her. I brought my work into art class and my art teacher must have told the head teacher as she asked me to bring them to her room. She liked one so much that she asked if she could have it for her room, I felt a little embarrassed at this.

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Cutting hedges in Fallow field and washing cars was also a good money spinner, I also had two paper rounds, my first one started at 6 o’clock in the morning and I had to deliver 150 papers from Princess Road bus depot all the way to the Y.M.C.A which was next to Alexandra Park and the paper bag was really heavy. I was always chased down a passage way next to the park on the way to the Y.M.C.A by angry wasps. 

The evening paper round was straight after school and I did this for 5 years, Once I started my paper round my dad stopped my 50p a week spends, this taught me the value of money.

I used to go carol singing with my mates and earn a lot of money; the snow was as deep as your knees. One time Ricky, Manny and me pushed a huge snowball into the middle of Claremont Road in a really snowy blizzard blocking all the traffic for ages. 

There was also a really hot summer where there were lots of lady birds and the tarmac on the Road was bubbling from the summer heat, we used to pop the tarmac bubbles for fun.

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There was a character we called Zebedee and he had a really whacky colourful beat up van that we did a few errands for, he was Nev's side kick. I remember me and Ricky holding on tight to a bit of old rope that held the back doors together whilst sliding around the back of the van with bits of old furniture and debris falling on us.

On one occasion I was held up at knife point in Moss Side as thieves tried to take my watch, Luckily a girl who knew the thieves persuaded them to hand the watch back, I was scared and then quickly ran off. Another time Mark and I was in town and a robber got a Knife to Marks throat and dragged him up the escalator in the Piccadilly Tower where Key 103 Radio used to be. I couldn't do anything as his mate was holding me at bay with a knife as well. they got away with Marks money. 

I used to drag the washing to the launderette on Princess Road every week with my Mum and it was always cold, dark and raining, I was always bored when doing this. She also used to collect green shield stamps and we used to buy shopping with them all the time. from the local shop on Princess Road.

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My friends and I used to hop on a bus to go to the Civic Centre in Wythenshawe where we bought records from the market. My sisters friends brother Mr Garside owned the stall, he lived on Princess Road and looked like giant haystacks the wrestler, he had thousands of records piled up in his house and he could get you any record you liked. My first record was walking on the moon by the police. I also loved The Jam and Madness was our favourite band.

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Ricky, Mark, Michael and I used to go on long bike rides we would often cycle to Reddish Vale to get to see some green fields and fresh air. We would also ride to Tatton Park and back stopping off at Ashley and doing a bit of scrumping for apples in the local farms. On one occasion a farmer came out behind a tree with a shotgun and shouted "GET ORFF MY LAND" and shot the gun in the air. We were scared but had a laugh about it afterwards. On the way back home there was a steep hill 1 in 10 incline and we used to freewheel down it at speed. One time Ricky fell off at the bottom of the hill and spilled his sweets all over the Road he was nearly hit by a car as he was collecting them again. 

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There was an Irish gang that used to cause trouble and began to bully me, mark and his brothers also another gang with the ring leader Andy Young that used to bully us as well. After a while I told my dad and asked him what I could do to stop them doing this. My dad taught me a few self defence moves and I went to Judo classes, my dad said the only way to beat a bully is to stand up to them. So I decided that I would overcome my fears of them and as the bullies were always in a gang I decided I would get each one of them on there own. 

I started with the Irish gang, I saw the ring leader walking down an alley way. I ran down a street and cut him off. I grabbed him by the neck and lifted him off the ground with one hand (I was surprised how light he was) and began to beat him up I then said if he ever came near me again I would do the same again. He then ran off. He came back later with his gang with baseball bats and lengths of wood and smashing them on the ground and banging the walls being threatening. I said to them if they want a fight I will fight them individually one by one, they were having none of this and were going to use the bats on me, so I ran into Marks house until they left. After that they never bothered me again. 

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Then I saw Andy Young scuttle down an alley way so I ran down a street in front of him and said “now that you are on your own lets see how tough you are now!” And he said “I don’t feel well”. I began to beat the crap out of him and then said "if you ever come near me again I will do the same again". He never came back. But when I was older and drinking in the Claremont pub when I was a teenager I saw him again with his gang, he was giving me the evil eye and talking to his mates as I was playing on the fruit machine. Ricky dragged me out of the side entrance of the pub and said he saw him with a knife waiting for me. I never saw him again.

One of my friends at school was Gary Massey I said to him he would get into lots of fights in Moss Side if he kept his attitude up. He came to Moss Side with me and He ended up being in three fights in the one day, he did well to defend himself though. 

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I wanted a zx spectrum computer, so I saved all my paper round money and mind your car money and it took a year to save. I withdrew the money from the post office account on Princess Road and rolled the money up and stuffed it into my socks and went to Debenhams in Manchester to buy it. I took the money out of my socks and it was all sweaty and handed it to the lady behind the counter, she was not impressed. Attic Attack , Jet Set Willy and Manic Miner were brilliant and spent many hours on this.

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One holiday we went on was with my mum, dad and Ricky to pontins in Prestatyn sands Wales we had a great time and I remember my gran turning up to see us, it made my day. I gave her a key ring with my photo on and she had this on her keys up until she died. I remember my gran and aunty flo were always laughing; they were so full of life and love. One regret that I have is not being able to know her to really talk to and get to know her personally. 

I loved my gran very much and remember being told when she passed away, I was at Yew tree high school at the time and ran all the way to my Grans, my uncle George stopped me in the street and took me to aunty Ivy and Uncle Dave Jones house where she was living at the time, My Dad was there and he was crying his eyes out, this was the first time I saw my dad upset as he loved her so much. we all miss her very much.

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I had a good experience at Yew Tree High School, we used to get up to all sorts of mischief, I was a bit of a rogue in my first and second years getting into a fight in my first week in school and losing quite badly due to being pinned down by two sisters of Anthony O’Neil, getting beaten up by him and then thrown over the bushes landing on a rose bush. I had to go home with a blood soaked shirt from a   

nose bleed, my mum and dad went mad. 

We used to mess around the corridors of A Block a five storey building at that time with a lift. We used to all pile into the lift and when the doors closed we would jump up and punch the light to knock out the electric's, we would be in total darkness and then we would be fighting until the lift opened again. One time we were on the top floor waiting for the lift to open, the doors opened and we all rushed forward, but there was no lift there and we nearly fell down the shaft.

Another time in A block the teacher left the room to chastise a pupil, all the kids hid under the lecture hall at the back of the class and the teacher could not find us. when he came back again we reappeared sat in our seats, the teacher was not amused. 

We also used to put the Bunsen burners hoses onto the water taps and turned the water on, there were fountains all over the classroom. One time another friend took the main gas pipe off the side of the table and lit a match it was like a flame thrower, some of the Kids at school were unruly and it was hard to get any work done due to the disruptions.

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I used to take sandwiches with me because mum couldn’t afford school dinners, so with my paper round money I used to buy school dinner tickets off the kids on some occasions, I loved the school dinners which were better than cold soggy sandwiches. I used to bunk off the lessons in my first and second years and play tiggy it in the bushes at the back of the school or in Wythenshawe Park. or play around the river mersey in Northenden. My shoes always had holes in them and I had to cut cornflake packets up as inner soles and would have to sit in a cold class with my feet soaking wet and cold all day long. 

My mum also used to make clothes for me, she made a pair of jeans without the crutch in, a V kneck jumper with a V down to my belly button and a polo neck with a middle arm, I always wanted addidas trainers but wasn't able to get them as mum couldn't afford them,I understood so didn't pester her about this, my sister and I saw a load of old trainers in a derelict house and brought them home and wanted to wear them, mum was annoyed and threw them out embarrassed at this, she then took Suzanne and me to the shops to buy new trainers, they weren’t adidas but at least they were new.

After my second year my dad got me to one side and put it to me straight, he said "if I was going to continue bunking off school then I would end up in a dead end job with no prospects and picking up litter in the streets or worse, in prison". He said "if you want to live that type of life then go ahead and do what your doing", after that talk I bucked my ideas up and never bunked off school again I knuckled down and managed to get a reasonable education out of Yew Tree High School getting my A level art in my fourth year and going onto Arden sixth form college gaining A level engineering drawing and design and Art.

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I also remember a circus at Bell Vue Zoo, one year we were watching a show and the ring master chose my dad and a few other men to ride a donkey around the ring to win a huge bottle of champagne. My dad beat all the other men around the ring but at the last minute the donkey hoofed my dad in his ribs and broke them. He was off work for ages. 

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Ron’s fish and chip shop on Claremont Road was a regular friday night treat on my dads pay day. I used to get fish chips and peas for my mum and sue, curry chicken and chips for me and my dad all wrapped up in newspaper with print on the chips and a bottle of dandelion and burdock to wash it down. The bonus was that once the bottle was finished I could take the empties back to the shop and get 10p back on the bottle which would usually get me 10 jelly teddy bears and a few more sweets. 

I also remember blue ribbon sweets, midget gems, black jacks, space invader crisp's, cola cubes, pear drops and midget gems. I used to run errands to the corner shop for my sister for 10 packets of crisp's and 5 chocolate bars and chocolate hammers and saws. My sister would give me one packet of crisp's and one chocolate bar and she would eat the lot in one night. 

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When my mum and dad went out on Saturday nights to the City Club, my sister used to look after me and she would often pick the lock of the drinks cabinet and drink the Q.C. sherry. Each time she finished she would top it up with water because my mum had left a mark on the label to try and catch her out. 

My Mum and Dad went to the Beehive pub one night, Dad went to the bar for drinks and mum sat down, a Big Black man sat down next to Hilda and started chatting to her. My mum said "you cant sit there my husband will be back soon" Dad came back and the man said "Don’t worry man I am a hit man looking for someone  to kill" and opened his jacket showing a revolver in a holster My Dad began to joke with him and they quickly drunk up and left. 

On another night they went to the City Club,it was windy, my mum was wearing her favourite wig and it blew off like a Frisbee landing into a puddle, she picked it up and plopped it on her head and went to the club my dad was in stitches.

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The Ritz in Manchester used to have a Sunday disco in the afternoon for all the kids, we went there every Sunday having a great time, I won a dancing competition and really fancied a girl there. I bought her a box of chocolates but she took them and just walked off, I was upset.

Our house in moss side had an order to be demolished to make way for the road widening scheme and we moved to 32 Orton Road, Northern Moor Manchester.

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During college I had a job in Shopping Giant in Wythenshawe civic centre at night collecting trolleys; I then got promoted to stacking shelves. I used to finish at 11 o’clock at night and used to ride home on my push bike. There was a lot of thievery going on there and the staff used to throw boxes of food and sweets into the skips or out the canteen windows, and sold them in the pubs at night. The extent of the theft even went to management level. My manager at the time asked me to come to the back doors over the tannoy. When I got there he asked me to load a whole trolley full of frozen meat into the back of his Mercedes car. 

I used to get my wages in a small brown envelope every Friday night, I had a   

wage of £25.00 and worked 5 nights and a Saturday for this. I used to ride to work at Shopping Giant in the Civic Centre on my push bike and come home at night in the dark. I rode through Wythenshawe Park at night and on one occasion somebody jumped out from the bushes behind me and started to give chase, this frightened the life out of me and I peddled as fast as I could to get away. I thought that somebody was going to murder me. 

I got my first motorbike a Honda H100 and then rode this to work. 

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I then got a job as a petrol station attendant at the jet petrol station on Chester Road Stretford, Andy Gold straw another motor biker told me about the job and introduced me to the manager Yvonne Dunn. She was impressed with me and I then got the job. 

One night an armed robber wanted to get into the petrol station where I was alone at night. He then started attacking the window with an axe handle, He was crazed and if he got in he would of beat me to death. He eventually left after 10 minutes of trying. 

Also one day a brand new Audi pulled up and filled his car up with £15 of petrol and drove off without paying. I called the police and they brought him back, I could not prove he drove off without paying and he got away with it. I had my wages docked by £15 that week I only had a wage of £25 so I was not happy. 

The shop did not have a till, just a drawer where you put the money in and you had to work everything out by paper and a calculator. I had to be in charge of the petrol deliveries and calculate by hand the quantities of fuel in and out of the business, the security was not very good. 

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I remember Jack Charlton pulling up in his black Mercedes limo ( I did not know who it was at the time) and thought he was just a rich man with an attitude problem so I gave him the cold shoulder. When he left after paying, a man came running in and said "did you get an autograph “I said no and he said "that was jack Charlton". I felt a little guilty then, but still thought he was arrogant.

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I was undertaking my Duke of Edinburgh Award during college and as a part of the award we had to go on expeditions in the peak district and Lake District. On one trip to the Lake District we had to do map reading and plan a route and navigate across miles of open country and end up at a given point. 

Andrew Gold straw, Ian Mamborde and me started off and Andy gold straw started map reading he was looking down and he hit a sign and nearly knocked himself out. Feeling Dazed he said "it’s this way" and we all went to the route he chose. After hours of walking and navigating we ended up in a valley. We checked the map and we realized we were in the wrong place. I checked the map and we 

had walked down the side of Hellvellyn. Andy had navigated the wrong way. So we had to make a choice whether to go all the way back which would take about 9 hours or to climb hellvellyn the third highest mountain in the lakes. We decided we would climb the sheer face. 

About half way up Ian Mamborde froze on the side of a rock as he was scared of heights. Andy grabbed his rucksack and put it over one shoulder with his and I pushed and carried Ian up the mountain all the way to the top, he was about 4 stone heavier than I was and by the time we reached the summit which took 3 hours to climb we were all absolutely knackered. We all clung onto each other as the clouds descended and cloud and fog was swirling all around us as we stood on striding edge, when all of a sudden a mountain runner came out of the mist fresh as a daisy running in shorts. We all shook each other off trying to look hard but we were in a right state. We then managed to navigate our way to the rendezvous point and were 3 hours late, we were greeted by the police as the mountain rescue were going to be alerted about half an hour later. 

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I also worked with the police as a part of the Duke of Edinburgh’s course and went to see the training centre where they trained the police. I wanted to become a policeman but at the time there were height restrictions in place and I was not able to apply to become an officer. 

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There was a club called the R.A.O.B club in Moss Side, Ricky and I went there one night, we went into the club and we were the only white people there, we got lots of dirty looks from the people but we thought nothing of this, we went into the pool room and I placed my 50 pence piece on the pool table, the place was very darkly lit and the only light emanating from the pool table. I turned to get my beer and looked back to where my 50 pence was and it was gone. I then said who took my marker. Someone said "there was no marker honky" where everybody laughed, I knew there was going to be trouble and arguments started. We decided to leave quickly and as we got out of the club the gang of black people started throwing bottles at us shouting racist words to us and cursing and swearing, we then legged it down the road. we never went back there again.

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One night I went with Andy Gold straws motorbike crew in a pub near the Airport and had a great time getting drunk and larking about. we had lines of drinks lined up in the pub having races to finish them quickly. I drunk too much and legged it to the toilets and threw up all over one of my mate’s trousers as he was standing at the urinal. he looked at me in disgust as I collapsed in a heap on the floor trying to laugh between each vomit. Happy days.

I met Eileen in 1986 at the cringle wood club; she was in my way when I was getting some drinks at the bar. When I first turned around to see her I can honestly say that for me it was love at first sight. We began dating each other for a few weeks but Eileen decided not to see me after a while and when I phoned her up one day to see if she wanted to see me again she said no so I said to her "well it was nice to know you “and wished her all the best. I was absolutely gutted but decided that if she did not want me then that was that. 

I went on holiday had a great time and came back home a month later, I had my motorbike accident, after my crash I met Eileen’s mum Lil in the cake shop in Sale Circle, Northern Moor and she must of told Eileen because a few days later she came around to see me, from then on we began to see each other again, I was absolutely besotted by Eileen and knew she was the one for me.

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After recovering from my accident, I got a laborious job in old Trafford for six months working in a wood factory sorting out wood samples and photo copying. I took a day off work and went to Moss Side Job Centre where I saw a job at T.F.S and applied for it. I took my portfolio in and showed it to the Manager Geoff Windle. He saw my painting of the motorbike and was so impressed with it he took it to show other members of staff. 

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A couple of days later I got the job. I worked for T.F.S for 10 years gradually increasing my artistic skills along the way. I was employed as an apprentice separation artist that involved reproducing textile designs for the fashion and furnishing market. This was a highly skilled job and I worked on designs for all the leading textile companies in England, I had to reproduce designs fit for reproduction onto screens on rotary, flat screen and copper rollers in the textile printing industry. This was a specialized career and I really enjoyed this job and eventually became one of the best artists in the studio and most productive. 

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One night in winter I was driving home from work in my Ford escort mk 2 and I broke down outside Monroe's gay club, the car came to a halt opposite the club. I was trying to start it up when there was a bang on the roof of the car and this gay bloke with a leather hat on a big moustache and leather pants with his arse sticking out of open pants at the back began to shout "any business" shoving his hairy arse in the side window. I frantically tried to turn the engine on as the leery gay bloke persisted with his remarks, I finally got the engine to work and sped off. laughing my head off. 

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One trip to Blackpool my car had smoke coming from the bonnet and we pulled over and found the filter had fallen onto the engine and caught fire, I managed to put the fire out. 

I got my first car which was a mini and sprayed it metallic blue and got hold of a blue suede interior from the scrap yard in Old Trafford. This was a brilliant car and had lots of fun in it. The car had a few holes in the front passenger foot well and every time it rained and you hit a puddle you would get sprayed with water.

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One day I was driving to Hull with Ricky to go to see his dad in hospital after he had an accident in work. the mini's bonnet flew up onto the windscreen and I could not see anything and had to stick my head out of the window and pulled over to the side of the road. the welding onto the bonnet had given way and I had to tie the bonnet down with rope to keep it from lifting onto the windscreen. 

I also fitted a stereo player in the car and as I was driving down towards the snooty fox just before the M56 motorway began, a live wire I forgot to tie up swung and welded itself to the steering column, immediately the car filled up with smoke and I had to wind down the window and swerve to the side of the road and pulled up to the bus stop and jump out of the car, scattering all the people at the bus stop. We had a laugh at that. 

I then got a ford escort MKII and fixed that up as well jacking it up into a sporty number. One day I was driving on the M56 and I saw cars swerving into different lanes, the car in front swerved and I saw a settee in the middle of the motorway sat there in the middle lane, I nearly crashed into this but swerved in time putting my heart into my mouth. 

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Mark, Michael, Ricky and me decided to go to Alderley edge on Halloween one year in the mini when we got there we saw a nutter preaching about the end of the world and all sorts of nutters throwing fireworks all, over the place. we had a few drinks and got back to the car, we all slept in the car that night in a car park on a hill. somebody must of knocked the handbrake off because we felt the car rolling back and we all panicked as the car was rolling down the hill backwards, we managed to pull the hand brake and it came to a stop. we decided to call it a night and drove home all knackered. 

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One year me and Ricky decided to go camping in the Lake District, we went by train and then hiked to a camp site just outside Ambleside we pitched tent and began to walk towards Hawks head, on the way this car pulled up as we were thumbing a lift. We jumped in, I was in the back on top of a suitcase and Ricky in the front. The passenger in the back next to me said “I forgot to tell you my mate is an amateur rally driver” he then sped off down the road at about 70 miles an hour. Leaves and twigs were flying through the back window into my face, the driver turned this corner on the wrong side of the road and in front of him was a yellow mini. The driver swerved to avoid hitting it and went up an embankment and hit a stone wall, the car flew in the air and landed on two wheels and came to rest in a ditch. Ricky and I was shaken and we got out unscathed the driver got out and started crying saying his mum was going to kill him as it was her car and it was a write off. Me and Ricky looked at each other and said “well cheers for the lift", and promptly left laughing our socks off, we saw a pub right in front of us we went in and sat in the window drinking beer and laughing our heads off at what had just happened. 

Eileen and I moved in together in a flat in 29 Chalford Road, Newall green this flat was on the third floor of a block of maisonettes. Every night when we came home from work we had to buy a bag of chips and open the entrance door to the flats and chuck the chips outside as there were two Rottweiler’s prowling the corridors, we often could not get out as when we opened our door they would snarl and growl at us. 

The flat below us had a prostitute in and there were drug dealers close by. 

One argument I had with Eileen was when I made her Sunday tea and she stormed out of the Flat, I was that annoyed with her that I opened the kitchen window and threw the roast chicken dinner out of the window cursing at Eileen, the Rottweilers then ate it. Eileen came home later and she said where is her tea and I said "the dinners in the dog". We then moved out after a year and bought our first house together in 5 Pentlands avenue Salford

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I was driving home from work one day when I saw a robber snatch a Handbag from an old lady on the corner of Dickinson Road market and the A6. I was driving my grey primer ford escort and I drove after the robber and mounted the kerb cutting him off from escaping, I snarled at him and began to get out of the car to get him when the robber panicked and ran back the way he came, two security guards tackled him to the ground and nabbed him. I drove off home knowing I did a good dead for the day. 

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I married Eileen on the 28th September 1991, on the wedding day I had the old beat up ford escort that I sprayed primer grey. My sister went into labour and I had to drive her to Wythenshawe hospital. I had to rush back with Ricky and Mark to get to the registry office in time for the wedding. We could not afford much and we had the reception back at our house, everybody turned up and the house was jam packed, we partied all night. As the party was dying down about 1 am in the morning we got a call from my sister to say she had given birth to the twins Thomas & Daniel. the party started again and didn’t finish until the early hours of the morning. 

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The nightlife in Manchester was great, I used to go out regularly to all the night clubs in Manchester getting drunk and raving all night. The Manchester night scene was great and had many a good night out there with Mark and Ricky and I used to walk home from town to Salford past Strangeways prison.

We stayed in this house for 18 years, we only wanted to stay there for 5 years but there was a slump in the housing market for years in Salford and it wasn’t until 2007 that the market went through the roof and we decided to sell at a good profit.

I learnt about photography from Charlie Dodd who was head of the photo department in TFS and we became good friends. He enjoyed motorbiking like I did and photography and also hiking at that time, we went on a walking trip one year to the peak district with his family and we climbed for hours and slept under the stars at night. I cooked his family breakfast in the morning and headed back to camp. I was that knackered I slept for hours afterwards. 

Charlie was a very good photographer and taught me the basics of photography and he taught me to take and develop my own black and white photos. and also mentored me on taking wedding Photos for friends. He was a good man and I respected him very much. He sadly died in 1996. I produced a painting for his family to remember him by. The family was very pleased with this, but a work colleague began to slag me off and started bitching about this to everybody. which made me very annoyed.

In the last year of my career with T.F.S I went through a stressful period in my life, Eileen and I found out that we were cystic Fibrosis carriers which meant we had a 1 in 3 chance of having a cystic fibrosis child, also a close relative was suffering from Cancer, and Charlie Dodd had also passed away. 

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There were a lot of good people at TFS and I was friends with most of them but there were a few people at TFS that gave me grief over the years a male colleague in particular. who I believe put water in the exhaust pipe of my motorbike which made the bike unable to Start. I had to get towed to a motorbike shop to get fixed and it cost me £200 and caused me a lot of inconvenience as well. also one Christmas party my drink was spiked, I only had two drinks and I felt high as a kite and the colour drained from me, I left the party and was physically sick in Piccadilly and got on the bus home, I missed my stop as I was unconscious on the journey home. I believe he was responsible for putting a drug in my drink as he was also into drugs as well. I did not get on with him at all. 

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There was a lot of backstabbing and bitching going on in the work place and although one person was helpful to me on occasions and helped with my wedding she was also a backstabbing bitch who sent me over the edge. There were a lot of disagreements in the last year in particular and she gave me a lot of stress, She and another colleague made a cake laced with laxatives and gave it to me with the desired effect, also she began slagging off my friend Charlie after he died. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back after years of her backstabbing and bitching. So, I decided to get my own back on her. 

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I came into the studio early and was not thinking straight and fuming after a restless weekend from what she had done to me. I thought if she was to take the piss out of me and slag off Charlie then I will give it to her instead. A worker must of saw me putting it into her drink and I became anxious and felt guilty. I knew that I had stooped to her level and that she had won. This was the only time I had ever done something like this and felt ashamed and knew I had overreacted, I was in floods of uncontrollable tears and could not believe that I had let my emotions get the better of me and that I had done this horrible act . I then told my Boss  what I had done and he said he was willing to let this go, and asked me if I wanted to apologise to her I declined. this was against my nature and I was at conflict with myself.

Some of the staff began to make jokes and comments and I went on the sick with stress for 6 months as I could not cope with that work environment any more. a person  commented that he will see me eating from bins and living on the street selling the big issue. This annoyed and worried me and knew he was going to try his utmost to make this happen. After looking back on this period in my life I was going through a breakdown that I did not realise at the time.

During the time I was off sick, in the middle of the night I heard the letter box open and close, I went downstairs and saw a mouse had been put through the letter box, this is something that I believe a work colleague would have done as she had been persecuting an old lady who lived next door to her and she knew where I lived. She told me on numerous occasions what she had done to this woman such as throwing paint in her back yard and putting milk through her letterbox thinking this was hilarious, this was the type of person she was. 

At the time there was an advert on the TV for BT with Bob Hoskins and a mouse saying it’s good to talk. this prank with the mouse in the letter box was used by a colleague to make a big joke with reference to the advert and me owning up to what I had done. I knew that some staff at TFS were making fun of my predicament and   

two colleagues were both involved in causing further distress to me as they used to go out with each other and were close friends with my other colleague

I Believed a colleague  was a mason and he had connections with this organisation and he was going to get his revenge. 

I was going through a crisis and began to suffer from paranoia, events and happenings through the media and everyday life began to affect me and I was going through constant persecutions. I believed that the media had been informed of what I had done at work and they were rolling the story out to the press and TV. I felt that the events were getting out of control and all the time the media circus was building momentum and was controlling the events around me. I was spiralling into deep depression and paranoia, insomnia took control and I was having constant panic attacks. I was out of my mind with worry, I was constantly stressed, and in constant fear for my job and family for months on end.

I felt I had nowhere to turn to for help and went to the doctors, I was very worried for my career and losing my job and was anxious. I saw the Doctor and was worried I needed time off sick as I was stressed and I had a panic attack in the doctors and as I was explaining my feelings to the doctor I felt that an invisible devil appeared next to me and the doctor looked afraid, he then passed a referral onto see a psychiatrist, it was as though I had been passed onto something more sinister. 

I had a few panic attacks over the next few weeks and I went to the Citizens Advise Centre and Job centres with no help. I eventually went to a careers advisor who pointed me in the right direction, 

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After much heartache I decided to terminate my contract in September 1996 after securing a position at Manchester University on a B A (Hons) textile degree course. as I was able to impress the University on my portfolio and my employment in the industry, I was over the moon for gaining such a position at University and began to get my life back together again and feeling calmer, my family were very proud of me for gaining a position at University and I was happy and excited at the prospect of doing the course.

I then decided to do some fund raising for the Macmillan trust because A close relative had cancer  I went on a motorbike ride for charity and rode around Scotland collecting money and taking photos  along the way to do paintings these paintings were for an idea for a calendar. On part of the journey I pulled up to a beauty spot and this man came up to me said he was the managing director of Kwik Fit and peeled off a roll of £10 notes, his girlfriend was next to him and he pushed what looked like five hundred pounds into the collection jar, I was chuffed until I handed the jar in at the Macmillan trust headquarters and there was no roll of money in the collection pot.(he was just trying to impress his girlfriend). 

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My bike broke down near Smoo cottage near Smoo cave at the top of Scotland and Wally McKay gave me tea as I waited for the recovery truck to collect me and the bike. The recovery truck took me to a B&B and I stayed overnight at a fishing village. I decided to go to a local pub next to a fish warehouse where they were cutting and filleting the fish at the side of the dock, I opens the door to the pub and there was silence as all the locals looked at me I walked in and they then became friendly. I sat there talking to the locals and getting drunk. The next day I had to abandon the journey as the garage could not fix the bike as a piston valve had snapped and they towed me all the way back home which cost the AA £836.00.

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After Leaving University I tried unsuccessfully to get back into my art career and applied for many positions in various textile companies and art studios. I felt that odds were stacked against me with my old employer putting in bad words to those potential employers.

I then undertook commissioned paintings for people on a freelance basis such as portraits and landscapes and various paintings for people whoever required my services. This work was sporadic, and I couldn’t sell enough of the artwork to make a living out of. I also worked as a freelance separation artist for Meshtex in Poynton reproducing designs for textiles, this helped me whilst at University on a part time basis. 

I continued working as a sales assistant for Homestyle in White City Retail Park from my part time job at University moving to assistant manager then manager in a couple of years with Rosebys, this was a fulfilling role and I gained valuable experience as a manager that has benefitted me in many aspects of life. 

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I applied for a position for a Textile designers job with Zap Creations who were children’s bedding suppliers, I knew one designer there who was from University and had the interview with a really lovely woman who was kind. I left and waited for the response if I got the job or not. A couple of days later the postman was very early and woke me in the morning as the letter dropped on the doormat, I instinctively knew this was a letter from ZAP creation and went downstairs and got the post. I came back upstairs and opened the letter in bed, the room was still dark and as I opened the letter a blue spark emerged like static electricity. I felt that the letter was sealed with Angel lips but knew I had not got the position, I felt that I had fallen from grace and this was the reason for not getting the job.

To this day I believe that there is good and evil in this world and it is a struggle over evil that is present in life. It may sound strange to some people, but I do believe that we are here on earth as a test between good and evil and whatever you do in this life will decide where your soul goes after this life. I am not sure if religion plays a part in this, but I believe that if you live your life with kind deeds and treat people how you would like to be treated yourself, then this leads to a happy fulfilling life that should account for something. 

I do not know what the future holds or what the afterlife holds for me but I try to be kind and helpful and live life the best way I can, with love for my family and friends. 

When I worked at Homestyle I was held up in armed robberies at the Cheetham hill shop. On one occasion I came downstairs from the office after putting the money in the safe and saw my manager shouting, “Andy Help” and I saw a masked armed robber shoot John in the back and blood spurting out. I thought my time was up, the robber shoved me to the tills and he shot me in the bottom, it wasn’t until I got shot that I realized it was a high-powered air pistol. I thought about tackling him but he was a big bloke and was not sure if his mates were waiting outside to keep a look out, He left with money from the till and the police arrived half an hour later laughing there heads off at the thought of me being shot in the bottom. I saw the amusing side as well and had a laugh.

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When I was the manager for Rosebys in the Cheetham Hill Store I locked up and was the only person outside, the area was darkly lit and my motorbike (Kawasaki Ninja 650cc) would not start. I walked with my bike to the end of the retail Unit and looked up to see two Space ships hovering over Strangeways prison, they were Disc shaped and had lights on. I was shocked and then looked away, when I looked back again they had disappeared in a flash. I am not sure if I hallucinated them or not but I will never forget what I saw. I tried my motorbike again and it then started up straight away. this freaked me out and I rode home quickly.

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Back in 1992 I had a car crash and went under a truck due to a drunk driver pulling out in front of me, I tried to avoid him but the road was greasy and wet and I slid under a truck getting whiplash and the pillar of the car was bent towards my head. god only knows how I got out without serious injury. Eileen was in the back of the car and she hurt her legs and had whiplash and a bad back as well. I later found out after 10 years of having headaches that I had a piece of metal imbedded in my head from the crash which is still there. 

The drunk driver who pulled out in 

front of me knew the police officer as he was a Landlord of a local pub. They breathalysed me, I was annoyed and demanded they breathalysed the drunk driver but they said if I caused a fuss I would be arrested and so he got off with drink driving. later it went to court and he was found guilty of driving without due care and attention.

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When I worked at Roseby's in Cheetham Hill as a manager I organised a promotional weekend where all the staff got dressed up. A man called David came to work dressed as a woman, we thought this was strange but we all had a laugh about it and had fun all that weekend taking the piss out of everybody especially David who looked like a Danny DeVito in drag. 

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When it came to Sunday and I was in my office David came in and said "How do you feel about me being dressed as a woman?" and I said "well its a bit of a laugh". when he said "No this is how I want to be", from then on he became known as Diane and he came to work dressed as a woman. 

we had lots of problems with this as the area was pretty rough and customers took offence to him. one person even threatened to beat him up. He also had to use the disabled toilets as he was going through a sex change and he was classed as neither man nor woman in Law. Before David changed to Diane I used to drop him off after work at Victoria train station to catch his train. but when he turned into Diane I couldn't exactly stop doing this, so I used to drop Diane the transgender off at Victoria train station and as she got out all the people would look stare and Laugh. What they must of thought you can only imagine !!!. 

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There were two transvestites that turned up at the shop before David became Diane and they must have been friends of his. I was putting wallpaper in one of the bins and I heard a rough voice say "where's the paste mate". I looked up and saw the transvestite looking down at me. I jumped with a start and pointed it out to them, what a sight they were. and they hobbled off out of the shop. 

On one occasion a member of staff drunk out of the same cup with Diane's lipstick on and she was physically sick. Diane also dropped her false wig into her frying pan at home by accident and it was singed, Diane wore this wig and the makeup was plastered on and was flaking off her beard and the smell was not very pleasant.

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I left Rosebys as the store was closing down and I worked for Wilsons insurance for 1 year. I did not like this company as the management were always on your back. I then worked for People’s Choice/Hastings Direct as a customer service and sales advisor for 6 years and met many good friends and had lots of good nights out in Manchester partying the night away in pubs and clubs and raving until the early hours of the morning. I was unfortunately made redundant in December 2009. I then gained a position with a large insurance company as a home claims specialist 

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When I was working for Hastings and I was trying to come off the tablets recommended by my doctor I had another breakdown, I was at work and events started to happen, there was a power cut in work which lasted for 6 weeks and our building was the only one left affected, we had no phone connections and I felt that I was the cause of this, peoples comments in and out of work and on TV and media caused me to believe this and my stress levels peaked to a high level. I began to retake my medication, and everything went back to normal. I felt that because I was taking my medication again this was the reason that these events went back to normal. (I know it sounds completely mad, but you had to live through it to believe it)

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On another occasion that I came off my medication following doctors instructions I had another breakdown, I was taking telephone calls as usual in work and began to get very abusive calls. there began to be a constant traffic of bad calls coming in when finally, I received a call that was a recording of death threats and attempts on my life and my family. I had a major panic attack and had to leave the office straight away. My colleagues saw my distress and were worried for me, I left and went straight to the doctors, 

I got home and switched the TV on, it went on the blink and I heard voices from the TV screen giving threats of violence and death threats to me and my family again, I tried to calm myself down and I called Top up TV to say I was having distortions on the TV, they advised to blow dust off the back of the wires and this then corrected itself. I was having a nervous breakdown, I began to immediately take my medication again and after a month or so of phycological happenings and events everything went back to normal again. from that day on I decided not to come off my medication and all has been well up to this date. 

I know I will probably be on medication for the rest of my life now, but I know that I would rather have a normal happy life where fear, paranoia, confusion and panic does not control my life.

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I question reality now and I know where I would rather be, that place is a safe place where no evil can penetrate and cause paranoia, fear, distress and confusion. This life I leave behind as I take another pill and hope that the wolves do not come in the night to steal happiness away from me. 

A list of issues regarding my stress at work which the company ignored

Attendance management policy, sickness disciplinary. I felt pressurised to come into work when I was off ill for being involved in a motorbike accident and I had to take 10 days off sick due to having had whiplash(bad back and neck) I tried to come into work and work through my illness but could not because of the pain I always try to work through my illnesses (colds sore throats etc, in the first year with the company I had bronchitis for 3 months and worked through this) and genuinely do not take time off work unnecessarily. 

I also had two occasions off for sickness and diarrhoea which I was unable to come into work as was very ill. Due to this I was over the acceptable attendance guidelines (Bradford factor of 100) and received a verbal warning on written paper and lost my bonus. 

This caused me stress as all occasions were genuine and I felt it was unfair to be penalised and disciplined in this manner. I understand that the company advises that it s not a form of punishment but to drive improvements this however still caused me stress

Workload, The amount of work that I am expected to complete within targets is far too excessive and not having enough time to do it in. I get Stressed when I have a lot of work i.e. post, checklists, diaries, writing letters, undertaking other handlers work whilst they are off, caseload reviews, cunningham lindsey payment reports, calling customers, contractors, suppliers, answering calls and dealing with complaints when all work has to be completed within SLA. There is not enough time allowed for undertaking all of these tasks while you are expected to be on the phone answering calls as well. 

Wrap up time, there is not enough time given to complete detailed notes, instructing suppliers, writing letters updating diaries I feel stressed and pressurised to complete these within the targets given,. When you are rushed mistakes happen and if you make a mistake you get marked down for this which will ultimately lead to personal development plans and warnings that may lead to dismissal. This gives me stress. 

Complaints, I get stressed from complaints from disgruntled customers and this does give me stress like everybody else on the team, home claims does have a lot of complaints that we have to deal with and it is a part of the job that we are paid to do. However it does have a large impact on you when you get call after call of complaints and this can cause a lot of stress. Most of the time you can shrug it off as a bad day. But other days it does have a large impact on your stress levels

Call accreditations, I get stressed by all the new procedures put in place in marking. I have had calls listened into and if I had made one small mistake such as missing a word off an instruction or did not set diary for a correct date then I would be marked down, this would be accounted for by not having enough time in dealing with the call in the first place. If you are rushed you make mistakes. This causes me stress. 

Calls queuing, I get stressed when I have a lot of work to deal with and we get the constant shout of “CALLS QUEUING EVERYBODY BACK IN AVAILABLE” and having to drop everything whilst still expected to deal with my workload. This adds to my frustrations and stress. 

Verball warnings and file notes, I got stressed after receiving the verbal warnings and file notes I was constantly worrying about losing my job as I am a hard worker and have been trying my very best at everything but it seemed that my best was not good enough for the company. The stress of this led to me becoming ill with worry and I was not able to function in my work and I went off sick because of all the build up of work stress as stated on all my other issues 

Home life, the stresses from work led into my home life, I was unable to sleep for 5 nights and constantly worrying about all the issues as stated. I ended up being thrown out of my home by my wife as she could not cope with the stress I was under and she did not want this affecting Emily my daughter. I was constantly breaking down in tears worrying and not sleeping and went off my food. My mum and dad took me in for a week as I would of ended up on the streets. Whilst there my Dad had a bad fall and he ended up in hospital which also added to my stress. I began to get help from my mum and dad and my sister who has just set up a healing centre in Reddish helped me through my stress, 

I went to Yoga on the advise of my doctor and I am reading self help books to overcome my stress. I also requested a time in motion study to be undertaken as this had never been done but the management did not do this and added pressure was put on me by management and I felt that I was marked as a trouble causer, they began to constructively add harder rules and regulations on me and my colleagues effectively managing me and a few other colleagues out of the company. 

As you can see from the previous pages paintings and writings I underwent a huge amount of stress with working for the Home claims department. Now that I have left this  company and moved onto better more stress free careers firstly with a with a finance company, then an estate agent and then finally my current employer that I realise how much pressure I was under whilst working for this insurance company as a home claims specialist.

The job was a good job and most people were friendly however the amount of workload you were expected to do was unattainable and everybody was highly stressed.

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In the last year of working for this company a senior claims Manager was employed to shake up home claims to try to improve claims losses and costs and a more efficient service, however this shake up only increased the workload and pressures of the everyday job. as the company were striving for more cost savings and more efficient ways of doing things in the department this only added to the pressures of claims handlers in the department resulting in everybodies stress levels to rise and for some people including myself to come to breaking point. 

My Manager was off work for 6 months with stress from the job, my colleague Kelly was off with work related stress for over 8 months I ended up having a breakdown and was off work with stress for 3 weeks and should really have been off for a lot longer but was worried about my job. 

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Everyday and every minute was stressfull and on top of this there where some people who were looking for promotion were constantly back stabbing and feeding back every minute mistake to the managers and people where ending up being put on disciplinaries which resulted in a atmosphere not conducive for teamwork. 

There were a few people who worked there that could literally suck the life and soul out of you and thick as thieves. in particular a couple of senior claims handlers had the ability to eminate there unpleasantness into the atmosphere they were like death eaters out of harry potter sucking the very happiness out of you. 

The department never went out on nights out as a team only once a year for the xmas do ,which the company did not arrange or pay for as they had a policy of no xmas party for the staff . which highlights how it values its members of staff. 

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The department was so stressfull that you could not even have a laugh with your colleagues, on one occassion a few of us were having a lighter moment to break the tension of the day and my colleague mentioned in a low voice how an ex employee liked oral sex, we were all laughing and I said "so she likes toad in the hole" where everybody was laughing. the death eaters on the other bank of desks overheard our jovial conversation and reported this to the management and this resulted in an investigation. 

Each person was dragged into the office and interrogated, this was completely over the top and it was like a police crime investigation, you would have thought we had defrauded the company of millions of pounds the way they went about things. in the end they just gave us a verbal warning each as they could not establish what was said due to inconsistencies in peoples versions of events. 

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The whole atmosphere was of constant pressure and my colleagues and I always had our head in our hands with stress either from having to deal with complaints from disgruntled customers that the managers would never take on or the stress from the death eaters eminating there unpleasantness and finding ways of feeding back the smallest of mistakes to management who would then turn these into disciplinaries. 

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It was company policy for the claims handler to resolve a complaint within 24 hrs by himself and if the handler was not able to do this then would be passed onto the customer relations department to deal with instead by passing management, there was no management help to deal with a complaint as there was so many complaints to deal with and they would never take over a complaint call. 

There was never any time to relax and a constant influx of calls paperwork and complaints to deal with. 

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I also requested a time in motion study to be undertaken as this had never been done and it was needed with all the changes in the company but the management did not do this and added pressure was put on me and my colleagues by management. they began to constructively add harder rules and regulations on me and my colleagues .

I now realise how much stress I was under working for that company and I gained a stress free career with a Finance company, I was not drinking every night to calm myself down from a stressful days work and I have met lots of lovely people who I have got to know very well. the work was good and you get positive people on the phone as they are looking for help with their finances and not stressed at the outset. 

The atmosphere was completely different to my old job everybody is happy and friendly and gets on with each other and there has been no back stabbing. they involve everybody in team activities and go out on regular nights out and organise paid for xmas parties. the whole environment is conducive for a happy work environment.

I have  gained knowledge of what type of career I should go into, one that does not have an overload of work that can cause me to be constantly stressed. 

I left this job with freedom finance and went to country wide estate agents as a customer relations retention advisor and the company was a very good company to work with they were very similar to freedom in the way they treated the staff they were very fair and looked after the staff. At the end of this career My dad suffered a bad fall and ended up in hospital and he had a few strokes and was diagnosed with vascualer dementia and altzheimers 

This was a very stressfull time for me and I had to give my job up because I was under a lot of stress my dad was sectioned under a section 3 of the mental health act and spent 8 months in Trafford general mental health ward because of his conditions It was only me and mum trying to deal with this.

I got a job working for dollar thrifty for a few months and had to give this job up and went to Manchester outsourcing selling funeral plans and I then got a job working for the COOP as a motor claims advisor I was moving from job to job trying to cope with the stress of my dad being very ill and that 

it was only me and my mum trying to help my dad I was attending meetings and doing reports to get the care my dad needed, my Dad was deteriorating and I was seeing my dad every day cleaning my dad’s privates after he soiled himself and it was extremely upsetting seeing my dad in this way . 

also close friends and family passed away and Maria Cowie who was like a second mum to me passed away. I eventually had a breakdown whilst working for the COOP because of all the stress with my Dad and trying to keep everything together. 

I have undertaken cognitive behaviour therapy arranged by my doctor and this has helped me to overcome my stress by tackling my decades of issues head on and by setting this website up and producing my presentations of turning negatives to positives and producing my range of positive cycle t shirts.

I have worked for quite a few companies and have come to realise that all companies and places have people who you will just not get on with and there will always be a few backstabbers in life and there is nothing you can do to change that. But there is good and bad in everybody and life is about finding the good in people to make a happy life and leaving the bad behind. Sometimes you can let your anger build up, that you snap and do something you regret with consequences that are out of your control. 

It is sometimes hard to turn the other cheek when everything is against you, but remember, sometimes it is best not to act on anger but let your anger subside and find other ways of dealing with the stress. I cope with my stress now the best way I can, with a little help from my friends and family and don't look back in anger, at least not today, (in the words of Oasis,) I feel that maybe we are all part of a Masterplan in life (in the words of Oasis) and one day life’s unknown will be revealed to all. So, to all the people that have caused me stress in my life, I do not feel anger towards you, only pity that you revel in your desires to cause harm and distress to others, for your own desires and satisfactions are questionable in the extreme. 

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I have felt a need to write down my thoughts and happenings on my website as an aid to understanding what happened to me in my life and put a line under this as a point of reference to not look back in anger or hatred but to bring a close to those bad times that happened and reflect on the good times I had and will have to come in the future. 

So in summary I live life as a hard working family man who tries to be a kind and helpful person. I strive to be a good father and husband and like to think I am a good role model for my daughter Emily. I am constantly aware that after suffering from my breakdown in 1996 that life can change in any number of ways, but what I have learned is that life is about learning on experiences gained and trying not to let things get on top of you, I have learnt a lot from my Dad who battled every day of his life with his Medical Illnesses but he has always had a smile on his face and a joke to share and he never let anything get him down. That's my philosophy now, 

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After my experiences from my breakdowns some might say I underwent a psychological event or religious experience, that I am not sure of. what I am sure of is the reason for living is all around me, with the love of my family and friends who can help by just being there and cheer me up on the bleakest of days. to the smallest of things like "I love you Daddy " or a picture drawn by Emily out of love, or my wife's ability to show me sense when I have been at my lowest ebb. or my Mum, Dad and friends who have looked after me in my darkest hours and been there for me when I needed a helping hand. I am proud to say I have been blessed with their love throughout my life and know that I have been the luckiest man alive to have such loving friends and family around me. 

So here is my thankyou to all my friends and family and especially Eileen who has been my rock and also my beautiful daughter who loves me unreservedly, I love my daughter very much, she brings the meaning of life into focus, my experiences have led me to be the person I am today which is a contented happy person who has failings but lives life to the full. I look forward to the many more experiences in front of me and hopefully some that bring more happiness and love for my family and me. 

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A few caring words for my daughter Emily,

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Whenever you are feeling down, always believe that there will be a better day to come, because it will come. Whenever you are feeling lonely and sad think of all the people who love you and think of positive things. whenever you have a decision to make always follow your heart and do the right thing. Always follow your dream because you never know how far it will take you. 

Always try to be kind and helpful to others even though they may not be kind to you, for hatred only eats away at the soul. There may be times when you think all the world is against you and you cannot see an end in sight and you feel sad and unhappy, remember your family has always loved you and always will. Never let anybody take control of your life, you are a person who is beautiful, kind and loving and deserve all the happiness that life can bring, 

if you do become involved in a relationship, remember you are the best thing since sliced bread and do not let anyone harm you in any way, either physically or mentally. if they do, then it would be time to end that relationship as they do not deserve you. 

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with all my love to Emily, Eileen, friends and family

Andrew Alan Matthews.

My dad fell under the stairs at his home address and suffered from then on

 so Just to give you a background of the reason why I had another breakdown 

I underwent a lot of stress starting in the winter of 2016 onwards due to My dad having a bad fall under the stairs of his home address and fractured his back and banged his head. He was taken to hospital and during the time he was there his health deteriorated. 

He had a bad reaction to morphine and began to hallucinate. He also had several strokes which led onto him developing vascular dementia, Alzheimer’s Alongside his other physical conditions such as polycythaemia (cancer of the Blood), Blood clotting due this condition, Insulin dependent Diabetes, Loss of sight in his right eye and poor eyesight in his left Eye. Osteoarthritis, Hip problems (need a new hip. Brittle bone disease. Hiatus hernia. Gout, He was also becoming agitated with his dementia. 

The social services wanted to put my Dad in a care home straight away but my mum and me wanted to see if we can manage at home.,

I arranged with the consent of my mum that the dining room to be converted into a downstairs bedroom with En-Suite facilities. My Dad came home for 6 weeks but was so confused and becoming agitated and disorientated, that the Doctors sectioned my Dad under the mental health act and was placed in greenway ward at Trafford mental health ward.

He was there for over 9 months and was very upsetting and stressful for me and my mum. 

 I had to give up my job to help my dad and Mum through the difficult times. And I was under immense stress. I had 4 jobs over a 1-year period. having gone through a lot of stress.

I managed to get myself a very good job with the COOP as a motor claims advisor and during working for the COOP I proved my abilities and excelled in my Job role. Even though I was going through a very stressful time. Also, five of my relatives passed away. Including Maria Cowie who was like a mother to me, this affected me deeply. 

I did a lot of work in trying to attain a position for my Dad in a care home and attended meetings and did lots of letters and reports to do the best for my Mum and Dad and eventually My dad was moved to Yew Tree Manor care home which is close to my home address. 

I was able to see my dad every day and trying to help him in the best way I could. I was getting very upset and crying continuously because I love my Dad very much and I was cleaning his privates etc after he had soiled himself in a diaper which he had to wear. 

I was trying to cheer my dad up and do the very best I could for him in his hours of need. 

I also began to reduce my tablets for anxiety and also wanted to do positive things to help a charity Blood Bikes Manchester and donated a painting to charity and this raised a lot of money for the cause in the COOP. I also wanted to become a better man and donated blood in Manchester. 

I also put my opinions on Brexit online and after attending a meeting in the COOP I was given a book to read by Susan Jeffers, feel the fear and do it anyway which was a self help book to deal with stress. 

I posted my life story and stress and anxiety paintings online for the whole world to see. 

I became anxious and worried that my employer had found out about my stress paintings and began to worry, and with all my personal stress, this ended up with me having a huge breakdown and had to take time off work because of my stress over all the problems I was having. 

During the time I was off work my Pet dog Ella died and this had affected me as well

The doctor sent me to CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) to help deal with my stress issues. This was very helpful to me in tackling my stress related issues from the past and present.

I worked out action plans to move my life forward in a positive manner and have produced two presentations based on my work stress art collection and my anxiety and Stress collection in my personal life.

I kept the Stress Art collections hidden from the world for many years as fear of letting my employer know and the world know of my stress over the years. 

The Stigma surrounding mental health was for many years a taboo subject and I felt that I would be discriminated against by employers and private individuals alike. This compounded my stress for decades. 

I have now been able to confront my anxieties head on with the help of the COOP and Doctors. and CBT Therapy they have so far been very supportive to me whilst I have been trying to get back on track again with my life. 

I sent my work stress presentation to my Manager Samantha  who has been very supportive to me whilst I have been with the COOP. she  forwarded this onto the HR department for review. 

I  used my Artwork in a positive way for me to overcome my stress. And, to help my colleagues and employer to find a positive and mutually beneficial way of moving forward to help people deal with stress in work and at home. 

I spoke to Joey Swift the Unite regional manager on the stress presentation Turning negatives to positives. And he used them in a positive way for the Unite Union, I had a meeting with him in the Unite Union offices in Salford Quays and he spoke to the head of the Union and agreed to use my work stress collection in there training and development department . thus turning those negatives to positives 

I spoke to the COOP health and well being manager and they advised they were unable to use the presentation in the COOP.

The Unite Union would have liked to  have a meeting with the COOP to find a mutually beneficial way of using my Artwork in a positive way for the COOP and employee and anybody that has suffered from stress in whatever form. This would have benefited everybody and to move forward with positivity, turning negatives to positives but the COOP declined this

I wanted to stay with the COOP as they are an ethical caring company. I did do my job efficiently and I have been recognised in the company as a hard working diligent, punctual, reliable employee, and never been late for work.

 And have done my job correctly in line with processes and procedures.

I was known for my handling of complaints in a positive and constructive manner and I have gained recognition by management of how good I am at dealing with complaints and one of the best in dealing with complaints on the team. 

Recognition by customers has been given to me as well and was presented with a certificate and reward for this. This impressed the management of my abilities in my job role. I had achieved my targets and gained reward and recognition.

My anxieties started due to a breakdown at work back in 1996 and I tried to commit suicide due to the stress related problems I was going through at the time. 

I had always been worried about letting people know of this because of the stigma surrounding my health condition.

I had undertaken CBT therapy sessions organised by my Doctor of which has helped me turn my negatives to positives. 

I had been referred to a psychiatrist by my doctor and was awaiting to see him for a year

My condition had not been told to me at that time and I had never known what I was diagnosed with, although the tablets I take are usually for schizophrenia

 I did not think I had this. But I needed to speak to my psychiatrist to get a definitive answer

I have now been able to move from a negative position to a positive position in my life now, and I believed I could contribute in a positive way for myself, employees and the COOP.

I spoke to Joey Swift the regional manager at Unite Union. He is aware of my circumstances and that I was  trying to do positive things with my artwork to help myself and employees and employer in the COOP to help alleviate stress in the workplace. 

He was very positive with the presentation I have done for alleviating stress in the workplace and was very keen to help both me and the COOP in the future. 

Also A local media company had arranged an interview time slot to interview me regarding my life story of overcoming stress  and were very interested in promoting this in a positive way.

I conducted videos of how I do my artwork talking about my stress and how I have overcome this through my artwork and website. 

I also conducted an art class demonstration and this has been uploaded to you tube and my website. 

The Artgallery I used to sell my paintings through contacted me and they wanted to promote my artwork and videos, but this never came to fruition with them

I contacted other media outlets and art galleries etc and have had a discussion with ITV but the main stream media have so far not promoted this  

After an absolutely horrible year of 2018 I was positive that 2019 would  be a year of positivity for me, my family and friends.

as it turned out 2019 was a very stressful year too

My Dad ended up in Yew Tree Manor Care home just around the corner from my home. initially they seemed to look after my Dad very well and I wrote a positive review of the care home . my Dad was more himself laughing and joking with the care staff and residents and was always positive and happy and smiley. even though he was suffering through Alzheimer's and dementia. 

he began to eat more healthier and lost lots of weight  his diabetes went and is polycythaemia went away as well . all the staff seemed to love him for his happy nature

he began to refer to the other residents as inmates as a joke . 

but there was a few occasions where I came to see him he was being attacked by other residents with Zimmer frames and walking sticks they were violent residents with dementia as well. the layout of the building was not fit for purpose for a care home as there were lots of corridors where the staff could not keep an eye on the residents and the alarms were going off constantly 24 hrs a day with no rest bite for staff or residents this was not a good environment for people who lived there. 

My Dad had a bad fall and he was taken to hospital and whilst he was recovering they found he had bruises from head to toe . this may have been due to the residents of the care home attacking him or something else . but I guess I will never find out who did this to him. 

The Hospital wanted to discharge my Dad back to Yew Tree Manor but they refused to take him back, which i thought was outrageous and the social services told me I had to find another care home for him. I thought tooth and nail for them to find him a care home . after a few months they found him a care home in Newall green . it was a better care home but his room had a broken window and it was cold 

my dad began to deteriorate  with his dementia and his mobility was getting worse. 

I started to explore the care home on one of my visits and I opened a door to one of the rooms and a nurse tried to stop me saying this was a room that was not to be entered as it was in quarantine.  

my Dad then began to have breathing difficulties and Me and my mum were called by the care home to say he had been taken into hospital 

I rushed home from work picked my mum up and went to the hospital where he was on his death bed with breathing difficulties i tried to call my sister but I did not have her phone number as she had fallen out with me and my dad. 

I called Eileen to ask if she would call Tom her dad who lived over the road from my sister to knock on and tell her.

I came across to Eileen over the phone as if my Dad had already passed away because I was upset and did not how to communicate effectively to her enough.

So Eileen decided not to tell Tom as she thought it was too late and wanted to let me tell my sister instead in person

Me and My Mum sat by my dads bed all night and he died in the early hours struggling to catch his breath

it was devasting to watch my Dad pass away like this 

My Dad Passed away on the 4th January 2020 after suffering through breathing difficulties in a care home and his funeral was on the 23rd January 2020

The covid 19 Pandemic hit the world shortly after my Dads death and lock down was on the 23rd March 2020 a day before my birthday . 

I am sure my Dad was one of the first people to get this but was not diagnosed as this 

LOVE