Hi Everybody here is a video highlighting stress I encountered over the years
I have come to terms with my condition coming into 2023, ever since 1996 when I was diagnosed as having Paranoid Schizophrenia by the psychiatrists, a condition which I did not agree with. This condition is considered the most severe form of schizophrenia.
This condition is always in the news relating to people who commit the worst crimes of humanity.
I have hidden this from the world because of this and felt that if I was to release this information then I would be stigmatised and would be prejudiced in anything that I did.
So as I have been stable for many years holding down stressful jobs and careers all of my life I feel it is now time to let people know my condition as I have come to terms with it.
The stress and Anxiety, turning negatives to positives video I did a few years ago highlights just the tip off the iceberg of the stress I was undergoing from 1996 and whenever I came off my tablets.
So In a nutshell
“The world is a different place when I am not on my tablets, that place is a scary place, when I am on my tablets I live a normal happy life, and long may it last”
I know that my tablets allow me to live a normal, Happy, and fulfilling life where I can contribute to society and not be a burden on it. I am completely compos mentis,(having full control of one's mind) or in other words sane as a Judge.
The below video was made to help me overcome my anxiety and fear of being stigmatised as a nutter. Although you may still think I am a nutter after watching the video. (Ha Ha). But its ok we all have a bit of nuttiness in us all after all.
https://youtu.be/DCotbuNPjQ4
Comment from the general public
You found those words Mr Matthews through your trials and tribulations. You are both gifted and measured. I wish you all the best fella, I really do, Comment by John
STRESS & ANXIETY TURNING NEGATIVES TO POSITIVES
Hi everybody my name is Andrew Alan Matthews you can call me Andy
Now I am doing this video to help people who have suffered from stress and anxiety in life. I have been able to address my issues after decades of stress and anxiety after I was referred by my doctor to cognitive behaviour therapy and a psychiatrist. This has helped me to overcome my stress and this presentation is the culmination of turning my negative stress into positives.
Now I know lots of people have gone through more stress than I have and my stress pales into insignificance compared to a lot of people but I am highlighting how small things can snowball into larger problems.
Now the presentation I am going to do now highlights some of the stress I was going through. I hope it isn’t too traumatic for you. If you think it might be then look away now.
So this is my “Stress and Anxiety, Turning negatives to Positives” collection There are 5 paintings in the collection
So lets look at the first negative painting and how my negative thinking affected me. this painting is called “Evil green eyed monster” and is a Depiction of a person that was the initial cause of my stress. She was the trigger that sent me to a dark place.
The green daggers represent jealousy and lies, the bitches spewing from her mouth are hurting words, events and happenings attacking me, the golden heart I wear on my sleeve has been pierced and broken never to be mended. I have been engulfed by an evil and overpowering hidden presence and am unable to stop the wrath of anger from swallowing me into oblivion. The depths of my despair are great and I can no longer cope with the torment and stress and powerless to prevent me sliding into deepest depression anxiety and paranoia. I have been consumed by anger and hatred, succumbing to tears in abundance and heartache aplenty, inwardly my mind has lost all control and madness takes over. outwardly the world is a different place, signs are everywhere and confusion reigns supreme.
I have no power left to fight, only to be consumed into the dark void of my despair with nowhere to turn for help only the constant laughter of persecution just a stone’s throw from reality. Madness calls and reality slips away replaced by fear, anxiety, paranoia and insomnia. The edge of the abyss approaches, clinging onto the bare fragments of hope that help may arrive soon but fails to come.
Sometimes feeling it is all just a joke and I’ve been on candid camera but soon realising this is not the case. to once again slip into deep despair.
So the above painting, writings and feelings was painted and written to try and help show and deal with my feelings at a difficult period in my life. I was full of anger, but my anger turned in on itself into anxiety, paranoia, insomnia and tears and fears and brought about a negative vicious cycle which snowballed into a larger problem for me and I was constantly beating myself up over lots of issues and always succumbing to negative thoughts feelings and emotions.
This brought about a constant cycle of everlasting pain and suffering. Like the uroboros Dragon eating itself and stuck in a negative cycle.
So I can look back now and realise that I was in a negative cycle and frame of mind.
So lets look at turning that negative stress to a positive.
Now for me to break the negative cycle in my life I needed to focus on what good can be done and turn a negative into a positive. This event happened over two decades ago and it has been a constant worry and cause of stress, anxiety, insomnia and paranoia over the years.
The painting of Evil green-eyed monster was painted when I was in a negative frame of mind I have now apologised to the person for my actions and if I caused any stress, anxiety and negativity to anybody. I have spiritually cleansed this by writing a letter to this person and setting this on fire sending this negativity to the heavens to cleanse. I also wrote a letter to the highest power in charge to forgive my sins of the past, present and future. and I have also spiritually cleansed this and sent this negativity to the heavens to cleanse by also setting this on fire.
I can now move on to do positive actions with my art and use the artwork in a positive way to help people who also had stress in their lives to help them move forward with positivity.
Now I accept that the stressful events happened in my life causing all my pain, suffering and misery and I let this go to help break that vicious cycle of the uroboros Dragon eating itself in negativity and bring about a positive change in that cycle. Turning the negative uroboros Dragon into a positive cycle Dragon. That’s my philosophy now. Always looking on the bright side of life.
So my next painting is called “Tin Pot Soldier”
I needed help, so I painted this soldier to help me fight my demons, and was in retaliation to the painting of evil green eyed monster.
I felt doomed, afraid, stressed and weak, I needed something or somebody to help me fight my way back to sanity. This was my way of fighting negative stress.
The next piece of artwork is called “Tin pot soldier Army” and was produced with a woodcut and printed onto paper through a printing press at University. this was produced to help relieve my stress. The painting of Tin pot soldier was painted when I was in a negative frame of mind I have now turned the negative stress into a positive and apologised to the person for my actions and if I caused any stress and anxiety and negativity to anybody.
So my next painting is called “tortured ticket to ride, depiction of persecution”
I bought a ticket on a ride through hell, The gravestone heads represent laughter and lies, the body and head is me being mentally tortured and punished, the African death mask is controlling the events as the storm clouds approach and consume all into oblivion. Mentally abused and suffering from anxiety paranoia and stress my life had been turned upside down in a slow and agonising torture that brought reality into question.
Eyes and people everywhere, knowing and uncaring, scheming and deceiving, this once familiar world of love, life and laughter had turned into chaos and out of control experiences through the TV, media, and everyday events. Constant signs trying to tell me something that I could not work out, The End of the world, Biblical events unfolding, Mind control, Thought control, Masonic Laws and threats of abduction, violence and possible torture towards me and my family.
Confusion reigns supreme and out of my mind with worry for my family believing they were all going to be taken away from me, Insomnia comes coupled with fear that something could take my life and love away. was this divine revelation, demonic possession, Mind control, government intervention or my anxiety and paranoia.
Stress on levels unknown before had erupted into madness, slipping into a zombie state and out of control I commit suicide, as no more I can take, in the belief if I end this my family would be ok.
My Heartbeat slows as my last breath is taken from me, Visions of demons come to life out of the TV looking and searching for what they need. Disappointed at the suicide note, they shout condemnations and disappear to where they came. Moments later I Breath again. My Life flows back to me slowly and I am dazed sitting there confused. I hear a knock on the door and my parents arrive to take me to hospital.
I recover in hospital believing Jeremy Beadle will pop out any minute to say it is all just a joke. I ask myself can this really be reality or a figment of imagination. I see a psychiatrist, and all is well, just pop another pill and safety, peace and calm come back and life goes back to normal.
I question reality now and I know where I would rather be, that place is a safe place where no evil can penetrate and cause paranoia, fear, distress and confusion. This life I leave behind as I take another pill and hope that the wolves do not come in the night to steal happiness away from me.
So In order for me to break the cycle of negativity in my life I needed to focus on what good can be done and turn a negative into a positive.
By turning the negative uroboros Dragon into a positive cycle Dragon by thinking positively
So my next painting is called “Into the unknown” and is a watercolour painting of motorbikes racing to avoid danger in the form of the all-seeing dragon that is hidden behind a veil of mystery. I painted this at a time of stress,
the all-seeing dragon is hidden depicting the paranoiac effects of somebody always watching and waiting, an unnerving veil that could be lifted at any time to reveal all. The evil that lies beneath and the fright that one gets when you are paranoid and everything you see is working against you scheming and deceiving.
The painting of “Into the unknown” was painted as a way to deal with my stress, I was thinking negatively at a time when my anxiety caused paranoia. I have flipped this around now and can use the painting to highlight positive things.
The green dragon is a symbol of life, death, and rebirth, these formidable Beings symbolize the ability to rise over circumstance and see things clearly. In the art of Feng shui, the Dragon represents fortune, authority, growth, luck and development.
So my philosophy is now looking to overcome negativity wherever that may be and the uroborus Dragon is an ancient symbol that represents the infinite cycle of endless creation, destruction, life and death. With my experiences of stress the uroborus dragon is either a positive or negative cycle that you can get into.
If you are stressed out you can get into a negative cycle leading to illness, but if you get into a positive cycle this can lead to happiness and well being in my opinion.
Now Stress can be a good thing, the fight or flight response is a natural process for dealing with a threat or stressful event, it helps you react to a dangerous situation or perceived threat that can help you fight or run away. It’s a natural process. however too much stress can turn into a negative and lead to illness. How much stress is too much depends on each person individually, some can deal with a lot of stress others can crumble at a little stress. You need to strike a balance in work and home life to deal with the stress.
So In my opinion, negativity eats away at the soul and you are only hurting yourself by thinking negatively and doing negative thoughts, actions and deeds THINK POSITIVE, DO POSITIVE THINGS IN MIND BODY AND SOUL, BRING A BALANCE IN LIFE TO BE AS ONE WITH THE NATURAL ORDER OF LIFE.
So If you are in a vicious cycle of negativity remember “always look on the bright side of life” as in the words of the life of Brian. This is what my Dad and I sing together to brighten up a dark thought or place. A lot of the time it may be a hard thing to do but always seek help because a brighter day will come in your life to overcome your worries and stress.
Help is out there to manage stress. • Self help stress apps for the mobile • CBT therapy (cognitive behaviour therapy) usually through your doctor • Community mental health Teams • Talking therapies • If you work for a company they can also help If you need further support • Other sources of support • MIND - Call: 0300 123 3393 • Stress Management Society – gives information about stress and tips on how to cope
Stress can be a good thing, the fight or flight response is a natural process for dealing with a threat or stressful event, it helps you react to a dangerous situation such as avoiding a collision in a vehicle or perceived threat that can help you fight or run away. It’s a natural process. however too much stress can turn into a negative and lead to illness. How much stress is too much depends on each person individually, some can deal with a lot of stress others can crumble at a little stress.
You need to strike a balance in work and home life to deal with the stress. There are organisations that can help you if you are stressed Always seek help and don’t bottle it up, it will only lead to more stress if you do.
So both of my work stress collection and anxiety collection can be found on my website also my positive cycle T shirt collection is on sale on my website andrewalanmatthews.co.uk as well.
So that’s my stress and anxiety, turning negatives to positives collection, I hope that this video has helped you to overcome your stress. It has not been easy for me to overcome my stress and it took me decades to overcome my stress. But I hope that my experience of overcoming stress has helped you and remember to get help. Nobody wants to be so stressed you have a breakdown
So Bee positive guys and have a good day everybody.
https://youtu.be/DCotbuNPjQ4